My Latest Addiction!

I've never considered myself the “addictive personality” type. In fact, i've never really been addicted to anything. I don’t really have cravings and if you took chocolate away from me tomorrow i don’t think it would really bother me all that much.

Ive never had an addictive personality – that is until i had my baby girl.

When i fell pregnant, my mother visited us for a while. She noticed how stressed i was, and how uncomfortable i was feeling due to the fact i was filling my days with TV and nothing else. Something i had never done in my life. My work was my life before i fell pregnant and i only ever watched TV to relax at the weekends or at night with my man, a bottle of wine and a dvd! To suddenly be so ill (my pregnancy didn’t treat me well) and be stuck in bed all day long with not much to do other that watch dreadful English daytime telly, i was driving myself round the bend, and anyone who happened to come within a 10 mile radius! Needless to say i needed a distraction, one that meant i wouldn’t have to move far, but would keep my mind busy.

Along came KNITTING!

Yes i know what you are all thinking, the fact is i thought it myself... “you have got to be kiddin! I'm becoming a mum, not an old aged pensioner!”. Those words did actually leave my mouth on more than one occasion and it took my mother a while to convince me that this was a good idea. After all, how could i go from interviewing people and writing articles to holding knitting needles! It just didn’t seem natural!

BUT – REFRAIN FROM LAUGHING when i say, its actually SO enjoying. Its rewarding and repetitive, which is exactly what you need when you spend half your days praying to the porcelain queen.

My first ever knitting quest was never actually completed. You see, my mother could knit when she was younger but never actually remembered how she did it, so when i got confused i had no one to ask. I eventually found someone to help me complete a pattern and a few days later i finished my first beautiful baby bonnet, a hat for my little girl.

I actually cried when i saw it finished. Not only has i managed to FINISH something, but my baby was shaping up.. at least in my head. This TINY hat was going to fit my baby, the baby that was currently inside my ever increasing belly.

I have since made so many things, and with my baby girl now approaching her first birthday i have made numerous toys, bears, dolls, clothes and hats.

Yes i know, how utterly sad. At least i thought it was, but hey, it keeps me busy, and at night when i need to relax and just NOT think about anything, the repetitive motion of the needles and wool keeps me more than entertained and happy. I love seeing the finished project and i LOVE to see my wee girls face when she sees her new doll or bear for the first time.

I'm currently working on a teddy bear for a friends wee boy for his birthday...

I'm not obsessed - but i'm getting that way, i cant go a day without knitting... But hey, at least my one and only addiction is not one that will kill me...

Yummy Mummy?! Really?!

The term "yummy mummy" really does offend me.

Today more than others, i think i really need to get that off my chest. Before i became a mum, i was stylish, i was always well groomed and had my hair cut every six weeks. My nails were always manicured (although fake because i had a terrible nail biting obsession) and i never ever left the house without make-up, but i did so because i wanted to, not because it was expected of me. It was part of my life.

These days, i feel more of a pressure than ever to look good. With the invention of the "yummy mummy" mums are made to feel as if they have to always look better than before because they have to prove they can be a yummy mummy. Its an expectation that is so difficult to live up to!

I mean, what mum in their right mind looks like a model each and every day of thier life when they have a child.

Example follows - and please be aware, that without exageration, this is a typical day in my life!

My day starts at 7am everyday.

Now, i dont jump out of bed at 7am i have to admit. I am not that good & i never professed to be a "supermum!".

My other halfs alarm goes off at 7am everyday, which in turn wakes up my gorgeous girl. Down the monitor i can hear the "dada" noises which rouse the man from his trance with a smile on his face.

I simply lay there, unable to move, unable to process that the day has begun already. My man will rise and go through to the baby, the same as every morning, giving me a half hour to slowly wake up and get ready to start the baby day.

Now, by half past seven i am finally on my feet and feeling my way towards the stairs to get my mm's (my man's) lunch ready for the day. In a haze i butter the bread and make the sandwich, still trying to figure out what day of the week it is.

I am NOT one of these mums that wakes up and jumps straight in the shower, followed my humming to the radio while i dry my hair at some ungodly hour. No, i need caffeine before i can even begin to think of getting wet.

We will say goodbye to daddy at the door then i will drag my still slightly disorientated arse into the kitchen to tentatively make that gorgeous cup of golden liquid dreams.

I will finally finish my tea just in time to give baby her breakfast and then looking at the clock, its 9.30 already and im STILL in my PJ's. (and yes i agree, this is no way to attempt the yummy mummy look!)

Realising the day is quickly slipping away, and that at any point a visitor could just turn up at the door without notice for a "coffee and catch up" - i will get straight on to my chores! The kitchen will need cleaning first (with last nights dishes still out on the side) then onto the living room and sorting the washing and ironing into piles. Lets face it, piles will stay piles for days because there are simply not enough hours in the day to actually finish the ironing.

Before i know it, its mid-day and baby is ready for her nap; and i am STILL in my PJ's.

God almighty!

So, baby goes to bed, and i finally get that long hot shower to blast away the cobwebs.

Ill look at the clock and realise i have an hour left of my own "relax" time before baby rises and sweep my hair up into a wet braid. (Yes i know, still not yummy mummy).

Its 2pm already and i have not yet mastered the rest of the cleaning and am certainly NOT rocking the yummy mummy image.

THEN - to top off my day, i sit down with a sandwich, one ear still waiting to pick up on babys coos down the monitor, i watch TV only to see umpteen celebrity mums looking preened and perfect rocking down the streets into lovely high street stores, perfectly manicured, perfectly styled with their perfectly cloned child attached to the hip. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIND THE TIME!

Oh yes, that's right, you have the nanny, the cleaner, the cook, the stylist - that's how you do it! So please, stop pushing it in our faces that we are simply inadequate because we cant do everything and look perfect at the same time. Its simply impossible to be perfect ALL the time.

I once used to believe that looking good and preened was important... infact it was the most important part of my day. Now the most important part of my day is looking at the smiling face of my little girl and realign that i don't need make-up or a Gucci bag to get that smile! i can look a mess and STILL be a good mum!

So - here is my definition of a yummy mummy -

a yummy mummy is a mummy who can still do all the cooking, cleaning and playing and still get up the next morning with a big smile on her face, not worrying about looking good because its simply not important!

However, i vow, that on monday morning i will attempt it! I will attempt to wake up and jump straight in the shower. I will humm and sing BEFORE my cup of tea and i will LOOK like a yummy mummy WHILE doing my chores... just to see if this will make a difference to HOW i bring up my child....

I will of course report how i get on!

Im not the only one who believe the "yummy mummy" is on the way out... have a look at this blog... http://www.timesonline.typepad.com/alphamummy/2009/01/the-death-of-th.html - Praise be the this woman, a much needed realistic view at what motherhood is all about!

Welcome to my life!

Well hello and welcome,

I guess that's how i should start... to be honest, im not sure.

I've never been a blogger, never considered sharing my life online and i was awful at keeping a diary when i was younger.

So what changed?

Well everything really. I have spent my life writing, but always for other people. I have been a writer for the last ten years and i have mostly written about things or people that were not really attached to my life. The sexual exploits of celebrities, the beauty of a new art colletction, or even my views on the newest and most exciting fashion accessories (yes i know, very bland!).

I even branched out at one point and started to write about something people "needed" to know about. Money, property, the governement, global weather crisis'.

Never have i attemped to write about something that actaully was close to my heart - apart from my ill attempts at juvenile and desperate poetry. Yes teenage angst has to come out in some form and that was my vent... Cant scream at the parents, hell write it on paper.

What i am trying to explain is that i simply have found it difficult to write my life on paper in the past but then as i have mention, everything has changed.

My whole life was turned upside down 19 months ago. I took a small white implement into the bathroom with me very late one evening and came out 3 mins later knowing that my whole life and everything in it was about to change; but i had NO idea how much.

I was once a stressed but very happy business woman, with my own business up and running by the time i was 24. I wore heels and make-up, never left the house without my mobile, and didn't bat an eyelid at 18 hour days. Now i wear comfortable clothes, my hair tied back and if im lucky make-up on weekends. I do 18 hour days, but not a stitch of actual "paper" work.

I am a mum. I have a daughter and i run my house.

I miss writing. I miss seeing my words on the page, and this is the only way i can do that right now - so ive started a blog!

So - Hello and Welcome... Welcome to my world and everything that happens in it.